Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. The next time you’re standing in line at the grocery store, check out the glossy headlines of the women’s magazines that line the stands: “What Men Hate Most in Bed” or “What He Wants You to Know, but Will Never Say. Men’s magazines echo the same theme: “What You Should Never Sex problems in life to a Woman in Bed,” “Why She Won’t Have Sex With You.
We all want to know: what are my partner’s sexual complaints? What can I do about them? The truth is, both men and women tend to complain about the same things when it comes to sex, particularly when they’re in a long-term relationship. Here are eight of the most common complaints I hear from couples, along with suggestions to turn a partner’s frown upside down.
If your partner has stopped doing his or her share between the sheets, first try a subtle approach. Playfully lament how much you miss his or her trademark move in bed, whether it’s a turn, twist, or tweak. A friendly reminder that it takes two to tango may be all that’s required. If that doesn’t work, go for a more straightforward approach.
Gently tell your partner that you’ve noticed he or she doesn’t show the same initiative and ask why. Can you set your watch to when he’ll turn you over? Do you see her kiss coming a mile away? Long-term sex with the same person can eventually become predictable. And while there’s something comforting about sexual familiarity, it can breed contempt if it’s the only dish on the menu. Ignoring the Connection between Emotional and Physical Intimacy.
The way a couple treats each other outside of the bedroom has a direct effect on the quality of their love life. Nasty, nagging and negative partners rarely enjoy five-star sex. Strengthen your relationship by improving communication, prioritizing couple time, making your partner feel appreciated, and approaching conflict with humility, an open-mind and a team-player mentality. When you reply to a text or update your Facebook status instead of snuggling your sweetheart, you inadvertently send the message that your partner is not as interesting or important as the person on the other end of whatever gadget is in your hand.
Make your bedroom a technology-free zone. Body changes are inevitable in long-term relationships. We get pregnant and give birth. We gain weight and lose our hair.
Health problems and everyday stress also take their toll on the body. Our fitness levels go up and down. These changes can make couples self-conscious about their bodies, prompting them to cover up more and have sex less. To improve body image, couples should share a healthy lifestyle. If you’re the one with a naturally higher sex drive, don’t pester your partner, whine when you don’t get it, criticize their lower drive or threaten to get sex elsewhere.